Shepherding the flock of God is a sacred responsibility. While often expected to leap tall buildings in a single bound, I assure you we are no supermen. We are not bullet proof nor are we impervious to pain. Leading the sheep, staving off attacks from within and without, creates shepherds wearing scars from past conflicts and nursing wounds and cuts from present battles. Some of these wounds may be visible if you look closely, but most are hidden from sight. Often, while trying to be faithful to the call, we simply become shepherds walking with a limp.
Limping probably won’t keep you from moving ahead. It will, however, affect how you move. When you are limping, your steps are much more cautious, much more deliberate. That is not necessarily a bad thing, but as you limp, there is hidden discomfort in each step.
You can try to hide the limp. Many shepherds do to not draw unwanted attention. These shepherds feel that exposing their vulnerability and weakness will invite attacks from wolves and predators who smell blood. Sadly, their fears are too often based on reality. Hurting shepherds are easy prey. However, hiding the underlying issues and faking a healthy walk only amplifies the pain. It causes you to walk unnaturally.
Some shepherds can’t help but be obvious as they limp. Their hurt is so overwhelming that they couldn’t hide it even if they wanted. It is hard to hide bullet holes when you are bleeding out. These shepherds keep moving ahead, but their steps keep getting slower and slower as they slowly die on the inside.
There some easily identifiable causes for the limp in the gate of some of God’s faithful shepherds. This is certainly not all of them, these may just be the most identifiable.
Discouragement
Negativity is like a subtle poison. It may not kill you outright, but it sure can over time. Shepherds can be surrounded by negativity on a daily, if not hourly, basis. Complaints, “concerns,” criticisms, are always the loudest noises they hear. All. The. Time. It is easy to become discouraged when the only voices you hear are ones telling you what you should have done, shouldn’t have done, or what you did that could have ben done better. “In Christian love…” usually isn’t. “I’m not trying to be ugly, but…” usually means they are. And, “People are saying…” means that person is saying (to you and everyone who’ll listen). In my experience, I am not surprised when those outside the church are negative. Most shepherds don’t allow the concerns of the wolves to keep them up at night. It’s the negativity from the sheep that hurts. You commit your life to caring for the flock and leading them to green pastures, feed them on the Word, protect them from the wolves. In return, they bite you, hate the pasture you led them to, don’t like the manner in which they are fed, and think another shepherd in the field down the road may be a better fit for them. Is it any wonder, facing the constant negativity, that many pastors are walking with a limp?
Negativity is not the only source of discouragement. There is an abundance of places shepherds can pick up discouragement. They can preach their heart out week after week and week after week no one responds. They listen and watch as their wife and children are under constant undue scrutiny simply because the are the shepherd’s family. They are called on to live up to unrealistic expectations as a teacher, mentor, administrator, counselor, evangelist, and vision caster. Their schedule is always under review. They don’t visit enough or they are never in the office. They spend too much time in study or they are not adequately prepared. They spend to much time working in the community and neglect their own flock or they aren’t mission minded enough. The list could continue forever. The limp of discouragement is ever in the walk of many shepherds. They may distract you away from noticing the wounded walk with a smile or a clever comment, but believe me, it is there.
Loneliness
A shepherd can live a secluded, lonely life. Part of this is self-inflicted, but part of it is out of their control. Shepherds have a hard time developing close meaningful friendships. For most people, this may be hard to imagine because on the surface, it appears shepherds have an abundance of friends. In the public eye, shepherds are in the middle of the people. They are surrounded by people on Sundays and Wednesdays. In a social gathering, people are constantly pressed against them. Shepherds don’t lack for personal contact. However, personal contact is not friendship. Friendship is a two-way street. While a shepherd may be expected to travel down the paths of all those around him, very few ever bother to travel his way. The shepherd must be concerned when you are sick, have a love one die, or you are struggling in a season of life. You expect him to call, text, or visit when you need him, but who calls, texts or visits him and is as concerned with his life as he is expected to be concerned with yours? Who is the shepherd’s friend? The reality for this shepherd and others like me is this… no one. A shepherd may have a thousand friends on social media, but only have less than a handful of real world friends. That is not a complaint, merely a truth. As an introverted shepherd to begin with, the reality is no one will text if I don’t text them first, no one will call unless I initiate the call. I am expected to be a friend to all, but I understand that it is only a one-way proposition. Shepherds will usually find friendship with other shepherds. It is good to be encouraged by those who certainly know what it is they are going through. I find it sad though the amount of surface level only friendships a shepherd has outside those with a similar calling.
The need for relationship and community is fundamental to who we are as human beings. It is primary in how God created us from the beginning. Is it any wonder that those shepherds who struggle with finding true friends and walk alone begin to walk with a limp?
Depression
I am not talking about being sad. Shepherds spend the majority of their ministry dealing with issues of sin and brokenness. If that doesn’t bring a level of sadness with it, I am not sure the shepherd understands the significance of those issues. There is a measure of hurt that comes unavoidably as we see people trapped in their sin and its consequences. The struggles of a particularly hard day can also bring with it a sadness that is profound. However, none of that is depression. Some shepherds find themselves in a place, regardless of the situation, that seems dark and bleak. No matter how hard they want to “feel better,” relief is just not there. The sun may be shining and the birds singing, but in the soul it feels like there is nothing but clouds and storm. Waves of self-doubt, personal anguish, and discouragement wash over them. They desperately want to “cheer up,” but simply can’t. I know the population at large experiences this in real ways. For the shepherd, dealing with it is a particularly challenging task. Shepherds don’t want to express this to the sheep or even other shepherds. Call it pride, concern, or self-preservation, shepherds don’t or won’t let their guard down and reveal the struggle. The shepherd is not willing to let the delicacy of depression be handled by the less than gentle hands of the sheep nor the vicious claws of the wolves. Instead, the shepherd keeps the struggle bottled up inside where it is seen as safe. Safe that is until the volcano like eruption inevitably occurs one day when they least expect it. Shepherds can carry the scars of depression below the surface. You may not see it on the surface, but you just might notice a limp.
If you love them, and I am sure many of you do, here is what you can do to help your limping shepherd:
Pray for them. There is no substitute for your prayers for your shepherd. As you want them praying for you, pray for them. Whether it be Saturday night before their responsibilities to feed the sheep the following day, Monday morning as they begin preparing the message and deal with the business of the church, or any other day as they face a week of service and ministry, it does not matter. Just pray. Let them know you are praying. Ask them how you can be praying for them. We shepherds may not have an immediate answer, but we sure like the question.
Walk with them. If they are limping, do what you would any other time. Put your arm around them and help them as they walk. Lift up their burden, not hold it over them. You don’t need to do the walking for them, but you sure can help make their walk a lot easier. It is a lot easier to move forward when someone is walking along side you. I have a dear friend who has said to me on multiple occasions something to this effect, “Sometimes I’ll walk ahead of you helping lead the way. Sometimes I’ll walk beside you to help you as you go. Sometimes I’ll walk behind you and guard your back. All the time, I’ll walk with you.” That is a great person to serve with!
Encourage them. There are plenty of people who can discourage. Be one who encourages. Shepherds will get plenty of humbling other places. There are other voices who will make sure the shepherd is “grounded.” You be the one who lifts up the shepherd. Offer encouragement not just when you see an obvious need. A shepherd who has been beat down in spirit may not wear it obviously. This week go out of your way to give that word that builds up your shepherd. When his spirit is lifted, his ministry to you and others is lifted, too!
Be their friend. Don’t assume your shepherd is covered in meaningful friendships. Reach out to them in love. Send a text, make a call, shoot out a friendly email. It could be a very welcomed gesture. You could be surprised to see the effect that might have on a pastor who is feeling alone as he ministers.
On behalf of all the limping shepherds out there, we would be blessed if you did.