“We move on.”
Those words taste differently today than they once did. When I first really heard these words almost a decade ago, they tasted sour and bitter to me. I didn’t like them one bit. Over the course of the last few years, as I’ve chewed on them some more, I have grown to appreciate the subtle sweetness found in each bite. It took some time, but my taste for them has changed.
I bit into the words years ago. After a lengthy and blessed season of ministry, my family and I felt the clear calling of the Lord to move in a different direction. The time came to make that change and we were supported by those around us with grace and encouragement. My goal was to make as seamless a transition as possible, both for me, my previous ministry, and my new ministry. While the hope was that the move away from where I was would be an easy disconnection, like tearing a page down a perforated line, what I found was that pulling away created some tensions and tears for which I was not prepared. It felt more like a jagged rip than an easy tear. It hurt. I’m sure it hurt on both ends. I felt wronged in some ways. I’m sure they felt they were wronged as well. The whole process just left me feeling torn.
In a moment of my discomfort, to say it mildly, a dear mentor said these words to me. He was a trusted friend who had helped lead me to understand God’s plan moving me forward, but he was one who I was leaving behind in the previous ministry context as well. As I wrestled with frustration, anger even, directed in part toward how I felt my former ministry was being handled, he said quite simply, “we move on.”
Those were not the words I wanted to hear! I wanted justice done, wrongs righted, apologies made, public accountability, and hurts healed. Move on? I don’t think so. I would much rather stew over what happened, should have happened, or needed to happen. It consumed me for a season. Then it was just a memory.
It was a memory until not too long ago I found myself on the other side of a break like that one. I saw things from a different perspective. I finally understood! I understood just how wrong I had been. Those words I had choked on years before found their way into my throat once again. They tasted differently this time. I savored the wisdom of the words. We move on.
One of the tragedies of this life is that relationships change, shift, and break. Sometimes relationships even die. Whether it be in the context of social relationships, friendships, workplaces, or neighbors, the reality is that sometime tears happen. When it occurs, it hurts, often very deeply. In our flesh we want to make it right, at least what we perceive as right. We want justice served, wrongs righted, hurts healed, and apologies made. We want to be publicly exonerated and the others publicly condemned. However, that is not how reality works. Please understand, we should always work toward reconciliation. Forgiveness is a command the Lord demands of us. We should do everything in our power to make situations right. But despite our best efforts, some tears remain. Some hurts are not healed. Some apologies will never come. What then? The best counsel becomes we move on.
Our lives or ministry cannot be spent lived in the past. We appreciate what God has done there, but we cannot remain there. When we refuse to move on, we handcuff ourselves to the yesterdays and aren’t able to be released to the today or tomorrows. Bitterness, hatefulness, hurtfulness, vengeance, all spring from a focus on what has happened, real or imagined, to us in the past and keep us from experiencing blessing in a hope filled present and future. We must move on.
I am reminded about what happens to Barnabas and Paul in Acts 15. They were the dynamic duo, brothers in the faith. If it hadn’t have been for Barnabas, there wouldn’t have been a Paul. No one wanted to have anything to do with Paul. He was a persecutor of Christians, a killer. Who in their right mind would believe that this man was now a follower of Jesus? It was a trick! He was not to be trusted. Barnabas believed. He put his arm around him and welcomed him in. He stood with Paul among the disciples to vouch for him. It was Barnabas who got Paul in the door. Fast forward a bit. In Antioch, a new church was exploding on the scene. It was a growing church filled with Jews and Gentiles. The church in Jerusalem sent Barnabas to check out what God was doing. When he got there, he knew just the man for ministry in Antioch, Paul. Together, they equipped the church serving and sharing the truth of Jesus. When time came for this church to send out its own missionaries into the world, who better to send than the dynamic duo of Barnabas and Paul? Together they went out proclaiming the good news, facing trials and troubles, witnessing salvations and healings. They were an inseparable pair of faithful servants.
Something subtly shifted in their relationship around chapter 13 of Acts. Whereas it had always been Barnabas and Paul, it now becomes more Paul and Barnabas. We never see a complaint by Barnabas, nor would we expect one, but about that same time we see a fissure develop. It is small but noticeable. John Mark, Barnabas’ cousin, had been traveling with them on their missionary journey. Suddenly, he breaks fellowship with Paul and Barnabas and goes back home. Maybe John Mark didn’t like Paul taking over, maybe he got homesick, maybe he wasn’t all in on this journey after all. The reasons are unclear, unimportant to Luke as he writes the account, but the fact John Mark leaves them becomes important by chapter 15.
After the team of Paul and Barnabas, back home from their first missionary journey, travel to Jerusalem together to help settle an important issue of salvation for the Gentiles and then return home to Antioch, the time comes to embark on a second missionary journey. It is common sense who would go…Paul and Barnabas. In fact, Paul is the one who asks Barnabas to go with him. Here we see the second great missionary journey of Paul and Barnabas begin. Except that we don’t.
Just like that it was over. Barnabas wants to take John Mark and Paul says no. Disagreement ensues. Feelings I am sure were hurt. Both parties probably thought, and for good reason, they were right. Neither budged. What happens next changes the course of all their lives forever.
They moved on.
Luke doesn’t bother to say who was right or wrong. He chooses to ignore the details of the disagreement almost entirely. He simply records that Barnabas took Mark with him to Cyprus and Paul chose Silas and left. Both groups move on. Barnabas fades from the pages, but we know he was instrumental in the development of John Mark. Paul journeys with Silas, proclaiming the gospel to both Jew and Gentile. Paul and Barnabas, at least as found in scripture, are never connected together again.
What would have happened if they hadn’t moved on? What if like so many of us they chose to fight it out, battling in out in the public square and private gossip and slander? What if they kept a constant eye on the past, concentrating on the wounds inflicted on them by the choices of another? What if they had remained focused on the past instead of moving on? What would have happened? A lot actually. For starters John Mark would have been a casualty in their war, sacrificed at the altar of egos and personalities. He would have been a pawn in the battle over who was right and who was wrong. It would be hard to imagine such a wounded Mark being able to turn his life in such a direction so as to be the author of the very first gospel account. What about Paul? If he was unable to move on, would there ever have been churches planted in places like Ephesus, Philippi, Corinth, and Galatia? Oh, how the spread of the gospel would have been impacted if they had kept focusing on the past!
Instead, for the benefit of the gospel, the Kingdom, and His people, Barnabas and Paul chose to move on. Were they hurt? Probably. Did they wish the wrongs were righted? Most likely. But the advance of the gospel, the blessing of their life, was found in moving forward not clinging to the past. They could look back at all the wonderful things God did through their relationship together. Cherished memories to be sure. However, they were willing to move forward and not be so tied to the past, good or bad, that it prohibited them from accomplishing what God was wanting to do in the present and future.
Our relationships change. Ministries change. Sometimes in that change the tears can be rough and jagged. It can often temporarily overshadow amazing things God did in those relationships. When those breakdowns happen, and they will, rather than seeking justice or vengeance or that the wave of public opinion would crash on our side instead of theirs, let’s seek a different option. We move on. Keep doing the work in the direction God is leading you now, not focused on what is happening back there. If wrongs are corrected, apologies given, truth revealed, wonderful. But even if none of that happens, move on. As my father once told me, “you can’t control what others do, you can only control what you do.” If no one else understands, move on. If no one ever apologizes for wounds inflicted, move on. If no one else ever sees your side of the story, move on. If no one but God Himself knows the truth, move on. He knows what He has for you ahead and you’ve to be willing to move on to get there.
It is important to note that at least in some situations, the pain of the turmoil of now can be healed as we move ahead. Paul’s relationship with both John Mark and Barnabas bears witness to that. While it was never the same as it once was, the Lord was able to grind off the rough edges of the initial break. In 1 Corinthians 9:6, Paul affirms Barnabas as a worker worthy of support. In Colossians 4:10, Paul asks everyone to welcome Mark if they see him. In 2 Timothy 4:11 says that this once useless Mark has become very useful to him and asks them to bring him if they come see visit. It appears from his writing later on, the embers of the once cold relationship between these men had been warmed again. Time and the Lord’s continue working in our lives provides that, but it is only possible once we move on.
We move on.
I didn’t like the taste of those words once upon a time. They were bitter to swallow. Now, through the Lord’s grace I understand how sweet and satisfying those words can be. As you chew on them, may they bring joy as you savor the blessings of the past, walk in obedience today, and anticipate the hope for tomorrow.